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| A Photo of Me on the Beach This Summer |
I am seven months along in my pregnancy and, for those of you who aren't aware, we've waited and tried for over a decade for a baby. I helped my husband to raise three kids (technically my stepchildren but I hate that word because I feel nothing in my heart for them other than they are my children...) and now we're having our first together. Health-wise, things are pretty amazing for a 38-year-old first-time birth-giver. Never had a day of morning sickness, just a few bouts of heartburn. I'm tired a lot but, then, I'm always tired a lot for one reason or another. It is THE strangest thing in the world to feel a human being kicking you from the inside of your body (particularly 800 times in ten minutes after I make the mistake of having a sip of Mountain Dew.) And, in ten weeks, little baby boy Salisbury will be out in the world. I hope he takes after my husband. He's pretty cute.
Yes, we have a name.
No, we're not going to tell you. Yet.
I've stopped cleaning houses and am now focusing on just my writing and editing jobs, all of which I can do from home (or from anywhere) which means that my schedule is a good deal easier even though the work can be taxing on my brain and I have to be careful not to become too lax in my waking, eating, working, and sleeping routines. And exercise. *grumble*
I say all of that to say this:
God is amazing. The older I get, the more I read, study, and research, the more I learn, and the more my heart opens and is filled with trust and faith and joy. I have lived nearly my whole life with an anxiety disorder and I'll admit that it will likely never leave, but the more I place the day in God's hands, the more He gives me peace no matter what happens. I'm less angry and frustrated, happier, more trusting in others, and generally more positive about my family's life and future than ever before.
My youngest sister has an incredible opportunity with a well-established band and will be performing and making money doing what she loves. I have no doubt in my mind that God is working things out in her life for good as He promised in Jeremiah 29:11. ("For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future.") My middle sister, a soldier in the U. S. Army, is home on leave after just getting back from an agonizingly long tour in Afghanistan, and is safe and happy and looking at her own future after she gets out in just over a year. My daughter is going to her dream school in just a few weeks with a nearly-free first semester of college and very little balance for her second semester which we feel God will provide for when the time comes. My husband, the love of my life, is absolutely thriving at school, is involved in so many ground floor programs and has made so many great connections with teachers, administrators, and students, that when he graduates in May we are confident God has something incredible in store for him as well. Our baby is healthy and exactly on target for his due date in late September and I have had the easiest pregnancy in existence despite my advanced age and lousy back.
And, as for me? I am absolutely nothing but inspired by all of the joy and happiness surrounding my life right now.
There is a flip side, and we'll come to that in an upcoming blog series. I do not consider myself favored over others because of my faith, nor do I consider myself better than anyone because of my belief system, skin color, or anything else that attempts to label who or what I am. These are issues that will soon be tackled, so tune in more often and I promise I'll be around.
For real.
Many thanks to all of you who read and to those who sometimes respond as well. I will always address your comments and questions.
Stephanie Jean
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