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| I did not draw this particular turkey. If I had, it would be worse. |
But I didn't always love Thanksgiving. There are some stigmas attached for me. First, let me tell you about the Terrible Turkeys. I seem to be the only child in my family that didn't receive any artistic ability. I can sing and I can write and I can act. But I cannot, for the life of me, draw, sculpt, paint, or even draw a recognizable stick figure. My little sister can draw intricate designs, cartoons, anime, tattoos. My older sister can draw Disney characters. My brother has his own sign company so he works with computers and art every day, and used to draw and sketch cartoons all the time when we were younger. Me? I can't even trace my hand properly to make a picture of a turkey. Seriously. My Terrible Turkeys are a joke that runs rampant through every Thanksgiving get-together. One year, my mom pulled out all the turkeys my little sister and I had made throughout elementary school. Hers were a beautiful progression of how her art had improved. Mine, you couldn't tell the kindergarten turkey from the fifth grade turkey. No kidding.
But after fifth grade, I was no longer forced to draw turkeys. I changed from a public school to a parochial school during my middle school years so, instead of the embarrassment of failing to draw something that resembled plumage each year, I was introduced to my new Thanksgiving duty: praying at the meal. My parents figured that, since I was going to church school now and we prayed at lunch each day, it would be a good test of my public speaking skills and my ability to form a coherent thought to give the prayer before our Thanksgiving meal. This also saved my mom from doing it, since she's never been one for public speaking. So I would pray. I was nervous every time, but I wanted my parents to be happy and, more importantly, I wanted to sit down and chow down. I felt so great once it was over and I could reward myself with tasty, tasty food joy.
Flash forward to college. Still the designated pray-er at holiday meals, I was in the midst of my struggle with belief. Already questioning and doubting, I recall one Thanksgiving I came home to be with the family and to say grace and pig out. As I asked the blessing, I specifically said, "Please bless our family and those who are not able to be with us today, and keep them safe until we see them again." As we sat down to eat, not five minutes later, the phone rang. My uncle had been in a horrible accident, and we finished the rest of our meal in quick concern, jumped in our respective vehicles, and drove to Wisconsin to see him -- but it turned out, he never regained consciousness and our trek wasn't as much to see him as it was to whisper our goodbyes.
I felt like God had ignored me. No, more than that -- I felt like God had slapped me in the face. If He was even there to begin with. I didn't pray out loud again for a decade. And that was because I didn't pray in private for a decade, either. If He was going to ignore me, I was going to ignore him.
The Journey of those ten years of my life is a long, intricate story for another time, but it has a happy ending, I assure you. It's the reason I'm writing this today. It's the reason I do everything I do. Yes, I came to believe again, but in a completely different manner. In doing research this week to speak at a church for their Thanksgiving services at the last minute because their scheduled pastor had to drop out, I found out some really interesting things from the book of Psalms which, traditionally, has not been my favorite book -- but this year, I've been delving into it in a different way than just my usual perfunctory skim.
I have the Amplified version of the bible this year [I get a different one each year], but I found out that, at least in the King James Version, the phrase 'thanks' or 'give thanks' occurs 73 times. Most of those are in the book of Psalms. If you pick up a bible, any bible, and put your finger directly in the middle of the book, you'll find the book of Psalms. That used to be a neat piece of trivia for me, but it makes perfect sense and I don't believe it's a coincidence. The Psalms are full of the strong emotions of human beings. Great joy on the mountaintop highs of life. Desperate seeking, longing, crying out for God in the valleys. Betrayal by other humans, feeling like God is ignoring us, facing the storms knowing that He is our only refuge regardless of whether or not we 'feel' His presence. And that's the truth, that's the crux right there: God is with us, always. 1 Thes. 5:18 says "In everything, give thanks." It's easy to give thanks on a mountaintop. The trick is to be able to give thanks in the valley, too.
I took a look at some songs I've heard the last few years on the radio and it occurs to me that Psalms aren't just in the book. They're available to us, too. These particular songs echo the same sentiments as I felt during those darkest times of my life, and I'm sure you've felt this way too, from time to time. I'll just put a few of the lyrics from each here, but a link to the whole song if you'd like to take a look yourself.
Blessings by Laura Story
What if Your blessings come through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?
Never Alone by Barlow Girl
I cry out with no reply and I can't feel You by my side, so I'll hold tight to what I know: You're here, and I'm never alone.
Hold My Heart by Tenth Avenue North
So many questions without answers; Your promises remain. I can't see, but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name.
The thing is, we're NOT alone. We may feel that way from time to time, or even often. But no matter how bereft we are of money, friends, home, or health, God is always right by our side. The Psalms are full of themes that echo His grace, His mercy, His loving kindness, the fact that He hears us. At least three different Psalms begin with, "Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good -- His love endures forever!" We might look at other people's lives and think they have everything, and feel hurt or lost or jealous. We may even feel covetous as though we're living right and have little, and other people are living the wrong way and have all kinds of things we don't. The bible addresses this, too. Psalm 37:16 says, "Better is the little that the righteous have than the abundance of many who are wrong and wicked." This is not the life we will have forever. This is not the home we are meant for. Until that time, we need to remember that "it is a good thing, a delightful thing, to give thanks." (Psalms 92:1,2).
So, this Thanksgiving, whether we are surrounded by friends and family and food and we can, indeed, 'Taste and see that the Lord is good' (Psalm 34:8), or whether we are alone and without a feast, we can remember this:
"Because Your loving kindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You. So will I bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. My whole being shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth shall praise you with joyful lips." (Psalm 63:3-5)
HE is our nourishment.
HE is our blessing.
HE is our greatest gift, even if we have nothing else.
Be thankful for sight, hearing, taste, food, family, football, marriage, health, safety, and a home. But if you have none of these things, be thankful anyway because God will never leave us, never harm us, never let us be alone, never stop loving us, and never give up on us.
That is all we need to be truly thankful.
Stephanie Jean
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