Please read the following in a very fast-paced, teenagerish sort of way.
So, this one time? I was 25 and sad and miserable and broken and divorced and I was wild and partying a lot and didn't get much sleep and I really wasn't happy with who I was and I wanted to be single, or so I thought, and I just wanted to date people but I didn't really want to get into a relationship so then there was this one guy who came into the picture and completely turned my entire world upside down and he was, like, the most genuine and sincere and sweetest guy ever and he took me out to lunch and then out to a movie and then he was all nervous when he kissed me for the first time and then, even though I wasn't going to be in a relationship anymore, I sort of ended up being his girlfriend and then he asked me to marry him a few months later and I totally said 'yes' and I was all, like, 'squeeeee' and all crying and he was smiling and then a couple of years later we finally got married and it was this beautiful wedding outdoors exactly the way we wanted it with a lot of music and a skit and he sang to me and I wrote him a song and I wore a black dress and he wore a white tux and looked really handsome and then we did that thing where, like in cartoon love stories and Disney movies and stuff, you live happily ever after, you know, and we're still totally doing that!
(Okay, now you can breathe, and then read the rest of this like an adult wrote it.)
That's the way I feel about my husband today on our anniversary. I know he gets uncomfortable when I talk about 'feeeeeelings', particularly online where other people are reading it, but it's also one of the things he knows I'll never be able to stop doing. Feelings are important, it's true. However, MORE important is listening to God's voice over your own feelings. Often, there are things we want to say in the heat of the moment, in anger or hurt or frustration, that aren't going to be the right things to say. Often, there are walls we want to punch, screams we want to scream, people we want to shove. Sometimes that person will be the person we love the most. It's important that whatever the situation is, we step back and breathe and listen to what God has to say, then go with HIS reaction instead of our own.
People are flawed, and every single one of us is imperfect. We need to love each other in spite of our differences and our failures, and do everything within our power to lift one another up, to encourage, edify, build up, strengthen, support, and inspire each other. This is especially true with our spouses. Many times, the person that is our partner is the one we neglect the most, taking them for granted and thinking they can deal with our worst because they love us. Certainly they CAN, but also, they should not have to. We should always be honest and open with our loved one, but we can also choose to be kind and loving at the same time. If we guide ourselves by the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23, we will have the recipe for the best marriage possible:
Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.
You tell me... if you gave these things daily AND received these things daily, don't you think you and your spouse would be happier than you've ever been?
If you haven't been using these as a guide, start today and see what a difference it makes.
Happy Anniversary to the love of my life, the man who taught me what all of these things were. Neither of us are perfect, but we're certainly perfect for each other.
Stephanie Jean
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