Sunday, October 3, 2010

Starting Over, Starting Now

My church school teacher was pretty funny sometimes. Right before school let out for the day, he'd make us have one full minute of silence. Depending on his mood, sometimes it would be a fun game and sometimes we were totally silent because he'd had a bad day. My favorite times were when we made him laugh in spite of himself. After a few seconds of silence, someone would cough or make a noise with their desk, and he'd say, "Starting over, starting now" and then the one-minute would begin again. After a few times, we'd really get in the game and try to make it a full minute, then inevitably there'd be one joker who, two seconds before the minute was up, would burp. Our teacher, who had been trying to have the teacher-poker-face, would crack up and say, laughing, "Starting over, starting now". Eventually we'd get to go home, but it was usually a fun way to end the day. I miss him a lot. Especially when I realize I'm an adult and there are no more fun little middle school games to be had. Not that that has ever made me want to teach middle school. Kudos to him, because I couldn't have done his job. I'd have murdered a rotten hormonal little Tween at some point.

But it makes me think. I've had two weeks off. I'm going back to work, but I can have a fresh start. Maybe I won't be so sick of working with the public. Maybe I'll have a new-found energy I didn't know I had, or maybe I can make some daily goals that'll help me pull through with a smile on my face. Starting over, starting now. Let's see what happens.

I just finished a pretty good meal, if I do say so myself. I grilled boneless ribs outside, made french fries and peas, and shared it at the table with 4/5 of our family. Our oldest is at work right now, but judging by the dishes he left in the living room, he's already eaten.

I'm still reading "Gracie: A Love Story", which also makes me think of my middle school teacher. He was in love with Gracie Allen, I'm pretty sure. I was always a little jealous of a girl named Angie in our school because when we did some acting/comedy routines, he thought her Gracie was perfect. Mine wasn't. And I loved acting, so that kind of stunk. But Angie had a quality that I lack. Some sort of innocence to her, something that was not jaded at all. Even at a young age, I was cynical. And I'm not certain why that is. I didn't have a bad childhood. I mean, crummy stuff happens to everyone, and it either makes you or breaks you or doesn't change you at all, those are the only choices. But it wasn't particularly bad in any way. So why can't I have a positive, fresh, sweet/gentle outlook? Is it just not in me? Is it inherent in some people and absent in others? And if so, why is that?

I have a lot to accomplish this week, and on a very, very small budget since we're missing two weeks of my pay and one week of his because of our vacation. October should definitely be an interesting month...

On the plus side, I'm writing again.



  1. Some of us are simply realists, my dear... and the real world gives no quarter. The world needs less pollyannas and more realists. It's OK to be cynical... what matters is what we DO with it, whether it's our cynicism or even or pollyannaism. (spell check bonkers). You *DO*, and you try to do RIGHT, and that's what matters. And that's ALL that matters.

    And I am unanimous in this!!!!!! :)


  2. May I clarify? It might have been better for me to say "Some of us (including you) are simply realists..."


  3. Oh, Bill, I love it when you are unanimous with yourself :)