To Love Another Person...

"To Love Another Person is to See the Face of God."

After two years of being off stage, my husband and I finally auditioned for another show and were both cast -- him in a dream role and I in the ensemble. After eleven years of theatre and singing together, watching each other learn and grow, and dealing with my own petty inner voice that often cries, "Don't you wish YOU could do what he does?" I am happy to say that I've reached a beautiful peace and that jealousy is nothing more than a distant memory.

For anyone who is not familiar with the music Les Miserables, it's a fascinating mixture of history and allegory with the most heart-wrenching songs paving the way for the story to unfold. Originally, we knew nothing about the show other than it was 'depressing' and we didn't want to spend a summer wrestled away from our depressing reality only to immerse ourselves into depressing theatre. Then we watched the movie, and what ensued was a quest to become a part of exactly what we've always wanted our ministry to be: using art and theatre to convey the message of Christ and what He offers each of us.

I stepped back from my own theatrical desires to rest on my knees and pray that my husband, whom I love and respect immensely more than I could ever have imagined feeling about any man, would land this role because I truly believe that he has the talent and passion to bring the lead role to life in a way that only he can. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that each of us is born with God-given talents and abilities to further our purpose in this life. As deeply as I feel that mine is writing, I know that his is being on stage.  This is his moment -- not to shine for his own self-confidence, but to stand in the spotlight for what God has to say through him.

I could not be more proud of him, nor could I be more honored to be a part of a production such as this, by his side, supporting him both on stage and at home.

When I said in a recent blog that 'Something's Coming, Something Good'... I wasn't certain what it would be. I'm still not. But I know with my whole heart that this is the next step, and I'm going to keep walking.


Stephanie Jean

Something's Coming... Something Good

I'm officially ready for the next phase of my life. For once, instead of anxiety, I finally have a sense of impending happiness. It's so foreign to me that I'm not even sure how to function. I've been praying for quite awhile that God would show me what the next step is in my journey. I still don't know, to be honest. But I feel like I'm so close to seeing it that if it were a minnow it would be nibbling on my toe in the water. (It's a much better metaphor than 'if it were a snake, it would've bit me', don't you think? No? Well, I like minnows nibbling on my toes, so... yeah.)

I've spent entirely too much of my life attempting to be in control, and it's never put me in a position that I've wanted to be in. Whenever something goes wrong, my first instinct is to try to fix it immediately -- my way. Whenever something is unclear, my first instinct is to figure it out and clear it up -- the way I want it to be. It's taken 36 years, but I've finally realized that that doesn't work. My first instinct needs to be to go to God and ask Him what's next. Not 'How will this end?' Not 'What are the next fourteen things that are going to happen in succession?' and not 'Why is this happening?'

Just
Simply
"What's the next step, God?"

Harder than it sounds, believe me. But you probably already know that because we're born wanting what we want when we want it. We're hungry? We cry. We need to be changed? We cry. We're lonely? We cry. We have pain? We cry. It's too quiet? We cry. Then, we get to the age of 2 or 3. We want something? We sneak behind our parents' backs and get it. Then we get in trouble. We're hungry? We shimmy up onto the counter, grab the cookie jar, fall off the counter, break it, and cry. Then, we're teenagers. We want something? We get it. We get in trouble. We yell and slam our door and hole up in our room telling everyone on Facebook how horrible our parents are. We're hungry? We eat an entire pizza and a 2-liter of Mountain Dew and a half gallon of chocolate ice cream and can't sleep and throw up and feel generally bad for about twelve hours. Then, we're in our twenties and we want a significant other, so we compromise our standards and put up with crap we never should have in the name of 'love'. We break up. We cry.

What are we learning?

We're learning that, on our own, we make lousy choices. We follow our feelings and emotions, which lead us to ridiculous places like falling off of countertops and, sadly, sometimes jumping off of bridges. Most of our choices end up in tears because we haven't learned to choose wisely. Which, again, should be simple... if the one choice we always make is to talk to God first, we gain clarity.

We might not like the answer.
It might take a lot of work on our part for the next small step.
We have to give up our desires to focus on His.
It will take a lifetime to achieve the outcome.
We have to take a series of steps, knowing that each time we'll have another one.
We have to retrain our brains to stop being so selfish and egotistical.
We have to be willing to listen and follow.

What happens when we choose to talk to God first?

"Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." --Matthew 6:33.

Go to God first and you'll get the answers you're looking for. He will provide all you need and more. But if you spend your life trying to pursue those things without Him, you'll never find them and, chances are, your choices will end in tears.

Something's coming.  Something good.

Choose wisely.

Stephanie Jean

Tragedy, the Media, and Hope

It's times like these I often have the song "Dirty Laundry" by the Eagles playing in my head: "She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eyes. It's interesting when people die, give us dirty laundry."

Tragedies such as what we've been recently experiencing are gut-wrenching, emotional nightmares for most of us. We want to be informed, but we don't want to be completely bombarded. It's as though the ratings war is far more important than what we're feeling right now. You cannot turn on the television without flipping through channel after channel of the same pictures, the same dry lines, the same in-your-face lack of emotion as you get the facts... then the new facts... then the speculation... then the interview with someone who knows someone who lives near where the tragedy happened... then the new facts... and the same video clip approximately 457,935 times.

No one is really getting to the heart of the matter, and that's because none of us can pinpoint quite what the heart of the matter is.

Wherever we are across the country, this is affecting us. Boston is a 13.5 hour drive from where I live. I am not living in the fear that the one rogue bombing suspect will break my door down seeking shelter from the manhunt. I am not living in fear that the next thing to be bombed is the horse farm north of my house. I am, for all intents and purposes, safe. Yet, there is a pervasive sense of fear all over the country for a myriad of reasons.

School shootings have hit small towns and big ones. Movie theater shoot-outs have come with no warning. Our own little school systems here in this area have been hit with threats and warnings two years in a row. As 'safe' as I think I am, or hope to be, I'm not. More and more people have been overwhelmed by anxiety lately, and it comes with a good explanation. Anxiety is a sense of impending doom. How can any of us live in this day and age and NOT feel a sense of impending doom?

But what hope is there for humanity? How can we stare into the face of such depravity and muster any hope?

When our senses fail us, when humanity has failed us, when we feel unsettled and overwhelmed, there is nothing left to do but what we should be doing in the first place, and that's to turn to the promises that are given to each and every one of us.

2 Peter 1:4 begins our hope by saying, "...These are the promises that enable you to share His divine nature and escape the corruption of the world brought on by human desires." That's what we're looking for. We're looking for hope in the face of tragedy, both recent and upcoming. This is, by no means, the extent of what's going to happen in the world.

Isaiah 40:30-31 says, "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Even when we feel like we can't go on, we can. We keep our heads held high, we walk in the light, we do not succumb to the darkness, and we become the bearers of hope.

In light of the Boston Marathon bombing, Facebook exploded with a post from Patton Oswalt (actor/comedian). In it, he said this:

"You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. [...] This is a giant planet and we're lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they're pointed towards darkness. 

But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago. 

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.'"

It's incredible how an intense positive spirit and attitude can overcome even the most tragic of events. During school shootings, we've had heroes who kept their students safe or even those who have taken a bullet for others. In bombings, we've had not just police and firefighters help out, but garden variety human beings with little to no training who just want to help in any way they can. You cannot fight evil with evil. You can only overcome evil with good, and that's straight out of the bible as well...

Romans 12:21 says "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." It's easy to allow ourselves to get stuck in the mire of sadness and tragedy but never forget that we can rise above, move forward, and create a better life. One person can't change the world but, working together, we can overcome our own personal hatreds and maybe that can usher in a little more of God's Kingdom right here on earth. When Jesus taught us to pray in Matthew 6, it was for exactly that purpose:

"...Your Kingdom come; Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven."

This doesn't mean "let's get out of this place and get to Heaven"... it means "let's bring a slice of Heaven down here on Earth until the time comes when we CAN be in Heaven".

All we can do is our own part, each and every day.

Help people.
Heal people.
Pray for people.
Listen to people.
Spend time with people.
Smile at people.

And, above all else, love people... even when they've given you no reason to do so.

Stephanie Jean

Wonder Word Powers ACTIVATE!

"You are a beautiful and unique creature, and I think you are pretty incredible."

"You're a stupid jerk who can't ever do anything right."

In case you've never really thought of it before now (and many of us haven't), your words have power. No, you can't speak some words and have an entire universe come to life, but you can most certainly feel the difference between the two sentences above. Each of them elicits a distinct emotion, and each of them has the power to bring you up or bring you down.

Take a look at bullying for a moment. I'm not talking about the guy who shoves you down and takes your milk money because he's bigger than you are. I'm talking about the people in your life who bring you down because of what they have to say about you. The ones who never compliment you. The ones who tell you things about yourself that you already feel insecure about. The ones who point out your flaws. The ones who make themselves big by making you small with their words. That kind of bully. 

Now take a look at someone in your life that you always feel good when you're around. The person who encourages you, who stands up for you, who smiles and reassures you. The person who can brighten your day with just a word -- whether it's a funny joke, a sincere compliment on your outfit or your hair, or a statement of gratitude just for you being YOU.

Words have power. And we tend to brush over that fact because we don't want it to be true. We want to say what we feel like saying, whether it's to someone else or to ourselves. But our own attitudes reflect the words we have to say about ourselves and our lives. I've often said that negativity breeds negativity, and positivity breeds positivity. You're obviously going to want to hang out with your friend who brings you up with their words way more than you'll want to hang out with a bully who does nothing but make you feel bad about yourself by their words. So why would you be a bully to yourself or to others?

"My life is terrible. Nothing good ever happens. I don't even want to wake up each day. Whenever something good does happen, five more things happen to mess it up. I'm a freak of nature. I'm not good for anything. This is the worst thing that's ever happened to anyone. I hate this."

Nothing in that chunk of words brings hope, joy, or positivity to yourself or to anyone else around you.

"Life is rough but it's certainly better than the alternative! Tomorrow's bound to be better. I can handle this. God's got this. I love a good, therapeutic cry. I accomplished so much today. I'm positive things will turn around. I have some great people in my life. One good thing that happened today was that I got to sleep in! I love Springtime."

Though you can clearly tell by that chunk of words that things aren't perfect, the speaker chose to dwell on the positives rather than the negatives.

Choosing your words can align with choosing your attitude about a situation, conversation, or person. Choosing positivity above negativity is always the best choice we can make. Engaging in negative talk about yourself or another person will only feed into that attitude more and more and we aren't called to be purveyors of sadness or despair. We're called to be joy-bringers, harbingers of hope, and to live love.

In her book "Change Your Words, Change Your Life", Joyce Meyer says this about sowing your words as a harvest to be reaped later:

"...if I talk about lack, sickness, things I am angry about, and problems most of the time, then the 'word seeds' I am sowing will actually produce a harvest of more of the same. On the other hand, if I choose to talk about provision, health, forgiveness, God's goodness, and faithfulness, I am sowing seeds that will produce a good harvest according to the seed I am sowing with my words. A farmer doesn't plant a tomato seed and expect to get broccoli, and we should not plant word seeds of bad things hoping to get a good harvest. Once we truly understand that principle and act accordingly, we can change our words and therefore we can change our lives."

Don't believe it? Don't knock it 'til you try it. Choose a day this week and, for a 24-hour period, don't breathe a word of negativity anywhere -- including to yourself. Speak good things in your mind and from your mouth. Compliment people. Don't think about or talk about people you dislike or, if you do, speak only positive things about them -- bring up only their good points or good hopes for them and their future. Don't point out flaws, but do point out things you like. Bring up your significant other by telling them what you like about them and don't nag them about the things that annoy you. Talk about your day in terms of what went right and talk about tomorrow in terms of what will be better. At the end of the 24 hours, see how you feel -- and see how other people around you feel.

Your words have the power to help someone stand or to knock them down. Your words have the power to help you live or to place your own stumbling block in front of you each and every day. Your words have the power to bring joy, peace, and love into someone's life or to bring misery, strife, and even death to them.

It's all your choice. It's all in your voice. 

Stephanie Jean

New Beginnings... Every Day

I can't tell you how grateful I am for second chances. If it were not for second chances, I wouldn't have graduated high school, or college. I would've have this wonderful husband I've been so blessed with. I wouldn't have any sort of relationship with my parents because I failed so many times growing up, and I would most certainly be doomed spiritually.

But our God is a God of second chances. 

The bible tells us that He is eternal, that he is all-powerful, all-knowing, all-seeing. It also says that He doesn't change. Those of you who are reading the bible for the first time might see a God of punishment and sacrifice and fear and think, "If this is God, and He doesn't change, I'm scared to death and I don't want anything to do with this!" Here's the thing, though -- in all of His awesomeness, He KNEW we would need second chances, and He wrote that right into the story of creation.

So often, people pick out pieces of the Bible they want to use out of context to validate their own beliefs. That's not how the Word works. The context must be taken into consideration for every single verse, story, law, commandment, miracle, death, and life in the Bible. Each piece is speaking to a specific group of people at a specific time, and while it is all useful for learning purposes, we're not to subscribe to every letter of the law that was once given to a different group of people over two thousand years ago. The overall concept of the Bible is this:

A God who loves His people, ALL of His people, so much that He paid the ultimate sacrifice Himself so that they could have a second chance.

And a third.

And a fiftieth.

And a millionth chance.

The Ten Commandments are great. Do we have to follow them all to get into Heaven? No. Why? Because Jesus came to take on the punishment for our sins and give us the grace and mercy we need to have another chance. And when I say that he wrote it into the story of creation, I mean this: it wasn't a plan B. It wasn't a "Well, let's see if all of humanity can follow every single one of these sacrificial laws, purification laws, food laws, sexual laws, marriage laws, hygiene laws, and this set of commandments. If they can't, I'll have to think of something else." No, He's GOD. He already knew we couldn't. So, in Loving God fashion, He humbled Himself to take on the form of one of us. HE did it for us. He was perfect so we don't have to be. And when we're not, He doesn't want us to hide. He wants us to come to Him. He wants us to learn. He wants us to try. He wants us to love, and to love, and to do nothing but love. 

Matthew 22:36-40 says:

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

In essence, if we're not loving, we're doing it wrong. That sentiment is echoed in I Corinthians 13, that famous love passage that's quoted at weddings, on inscriptions, posted on Facebook pages -- the beginning of the passage is not as often read and, when read, not often understood. 

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 -- If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Basically, nothing you say, nothing you are, nothing you do matters if it doesn't come from a place of love.  The Pharisees were awesome at nitpicking the law into tiny little shreds, doing things right down to the letter, making a big show of all the money they donated -- and they're the ones Jesus railed against the most, because nothing they did came out of a place of love. It didn't matter how much money they gave or how perfectly they followed the rules. They were self-centered, judgmental hypocrites and Jesus gave them nothing but grief the entire time He walked the planet. News flash: He feels the same way about modern-day hypocrites, because He doesn't change. 

So, here we are, the day after Easter, with a choice to make. Am I going to sit here, still full of ham and potatoes and gravy, and keep living my life the same way I did before I knew that I had a second chance? Or am I going to give myself wholeheartedly over to the knowledge that there is a Good God, so Good that He would go to death and back for me, to rescue me when I fall down? It's a choice we have on a daily basis. 

We fail. We fail miserably. We fail every day. We fail in every way possible. And He reaches down, picks us up, brushes us off, wraps us in a hug, and sends us on our way. 

Two things we're supposed to do: love God and love each other. 

Yes, it's hard. 

That's why I thank God every day for second chances.

Stephanie Jean

That Post about Easter

Have you ever noticed how we sort of gloss over things we don't understand? Whether it's out of fear, embarrassment, confusion, or lack of interest, we just skip to the parts we like. I just Googled 'Easter' to find some images for my blog. I found approximately 8,932,522 pictures of eggs and bunnies and candy and a couple pictures of a cross. There's no judgment in this statement, believe me. Because I understand. Most people don't GET Jesus.  For a long time, I was one of them.

Forget, for a moment that, in our world, His story sounds kind of Grimm's Fairy Tale-ish (not to be confused with Disney Fairy Tale-ish, where Jesus would never have died, only gotten close to death, then transformed into a handsome prince at the last second, leading to an overly expensive wedding with Mary Magdalene and lots of talking wildlife...). What I'm talking about is the blatant, enduring, unconditional love of someone you can wholly trust, who would never betray you, never fail you, and would remain faithful to you forever, with such a love that He would die a brutal, horrific death just to save YOU.  That sounds like something we can't even fathom, so we gloss over it.  We go to church at Easter and Christmas because we feel there's something special and different about those two things, but we don't get into deep discussions about grace and faith and the realities of what happened on those days because, in all honesty, we just don't get it.

How could I mean so much to someone that they would lay down their life for me? How could I, will all of my faults and failures, be loved wholly and unconditionally for who and what I am? How could someone who knows my past not be derailed by that when they look at me? How could anyone on Earth embrace me at my point of deepest need, lift me up, and give me a clean slate, forgetting all the wrongs I've ever enacted and giving me the strength and courage to press on with the Journey with renewed purpose and joy?

Simple. No one on Earth CAN.

Most of us aren't great at relationships. Whether it's with our parents who are, in and of themselves, flawed human beings that make mistakes like everyone else, or with our significant others, or with our own children -- we screw up. We exaggerate. We lie. We hide things. We don't tell the whole truth. We don't bare our souls. We're afraid of betrayal. WE betray. We argue. We scar one another with the things we say that we can never take back. We cut each other with our actions when we decide to take the wrong path, or even to take a single step in the wrong direction. We cheat. We neglect. We abuse, emotionally and physically. We've been neglected, or abused, or cheated on. Even something as small as not making eye contact in a conversation can wound us, or someone else.

So when it comes to a relationship with God, how do we even know where to begin? We're not good at relationships with humans, so how can we possibly have one with an entity that we can't even see, can't even hear, on a daily basis?  An entity that we can't even begin to understand?

It's a tentative first step. When you meet a stranger, a new person in your life, how do you go about it? You introduce yourself. "Hi, my name is Stephanie." Then you go about learning things about each other. Where you're from, what you do, what you believe, what your desires and goals are, where you're going in life, what your plan is, what you have in common -- and on, and on, and on. Sometimes, you have a really close, fantastic friendship on your hands right away after that first conversation.  Sometimes, you don't click right away or you don't even like the new person but, eventually, they grow on you and become really close.

The same is true with God, or Jesus if that's how you prefer to look at it. Forget about the fact that He already knows absolutely everything about you. You don't know everything about Him. You can still go through these steps. Introduce yourself. Talk about your hopes and dreams and goals and plans, about your past, about your passions and your dislikes, about your family, your friends, your community, about what drives you in life, about your fears and your failures, about your current trials and about obstacles you've overcome. Some call it prayer. I like to call it 'conversation'.  It doesn't have to be formal, on-your-knees with your head bowed and your eyes closed. Sometimes I talk out loud in my car on the way to the grocery store. Stick a headset on your ears if you're afraid that other drivers will think you're crazypants. Who cares? What matters is that you take that simple first step and just start the conversation. Because what you'll soon realize is, you didn't start the conversation. He's been talking to you your whole life, and you just started listening.

The other half of any conversation is exactly that: listening. How can you listen to something or someone you can't hear? Well, how do you learn about anyone in history? You read. Read everything you can. Read the Bible, yes -- but also, read about what other people have to say about Him. Devotionals, editorials, articles, concordances, Facebook posts (shameless plug here for A Journey of Reinvention on Facebook...). Listen to people talk. Ask questions. Visit pastors or churches. Make appointments specifically to ask questions. Talk to friends who believe and find out why, learn their stories. Because everyone has one -- a story, I mean. Every single person on the face of the planet has a story, and we can learn from all of them. That's why we're all here together. That's why it's a community effort. That's why we're on the Journey.

Here's what happened -- Jesus became the bearer of all of our sin, all of our failures, all of our rebellion. He said that we are worth so much more than what we give ourselves credit for. He said He loved us with no conditions. We don't have to be a certain color, a certain sexuality, a certain gender, or a certain religion. He said we're good enough for His love no matter what we've done or what we're going to do. He said He was going to provide a way for us to have complete grace, blatant in the face of all that we've messed up or will continue to mess up for the rest of our flawed lives. He said to you, no matter who you are or what you've done, "I love you enough to die for you."

Then... He loved you enough to die for you. He did exactly what He said He'd do. His actions matched His words! He carved out a little slice of Heaven for you to join Him, but He asked you first to join Him here on Earth. To tell other people His story AND your story and to bring that slice of Heaven down here. It's called the Kingdom of God --not a place filled with angels and harps and perfection, but a group of people spreading unconditional love and all of their stories that tie in with HIS story.

And that, my friends, IS the Journey.

Won't you join us?

-Stephanie Jean

R-Evolution

Well, you know... we all wanna change the world.  Right?

Wrong. A lot of people don't.  A lot of people are content with things the way they are -- just plodding along, eat, sleep, work, repeat -- without ever challenging the way things are.

I'm challenging the way things are.

Aren't you in the market for more? Things need to evolve.  *Gasp* EVOLUTION!? Heh, yeah.  It's not a bad thing, you know. It's not taboo.  It just means gradual change. I'm talking about small changes that you and I can make, one at a time, in our lives.  They'll have a tiny effect but, on the whole, if we can have a tiny effect all together, that makes a pretty big effect.

One more smile each day.  One extra dollar for a tip at lunch. One extra minute to compliment someone. One re-usable coffee cup instead of a disposable one. One aluminum can into recycling instead of the landfill.  One half-hour conversation face-to-face instead of on Facebook. One hour of your time spent serving someone who needs your service.

Add it up.  If you do it, a life might be changed because of the difference you're making.  If you have a tiny effect on someone else's life, they might begin having an effect on someone else's. People are happier. People are richer. People have more self-confidence. The planet stays around a little longer. People's needs are met. And the lives you're changing? Yours is one of them.

For instance: if one person goes into one coffee shop once a day for the work week, five days a week, 52 weeks a year, and gets one coffee in a disposable cup, they've used and thrown away 260 disposable cups. One re-usable cup can replace all of those.  Use, rinse, repeat.  Nothing goes into the landfill. If two people did it, that's 520 cups. If four people did it, that's 1040 cups. If eight people did it, that's 2080 cups. You see where I'm going here? It takes ONE person to start a revolution. But if one person doesn't start it, nothing will change. (Alternately, you can see some more math in the little picture up there on the right...)

What's your revolution? How will you evolve? How will you shape the world around you? How will you touch lives? What difference will you make in someone's life that will help them make a difference in someone else's life?

Let's start a revolution, you and I.

Right now.

-Stephanie Jean